After I die, someone will discover among my personal effects this item: a small wooden plaque with a brass plate. The plaque congratulates “Dave & Lisa Frisbie” for exploring all 65 Minnesota State Parks. My wife and I earned that plaque over a ten year time span from 1990 to 2000, purchasing a passport from the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, then having that passport stamped and validated as we camped and hiked our way through Minnesota’s state park system.
We loved that process, and along the way we earned patches, badges and I believe also a baseball cap. The culmination (if you explored every single state park) was the aforementioned plaque. That plaque doesn’t matter to any living persons except Lisa and I --- for us, it has a value that is beyond priceless. Instantly, that little plaque reminds us of our lakeside campsite at Father Hennepin, our hikes along the shores of Lake Superior, and an early August snowfall as we tent-camped near Fergus Falls. That little wooden plaque on the wall holds a decade of happy memories for us: We love camping!
The plaque represents a milestone in our lives together. In much the same way, we celebrated a major milestone recently as I performed my 400th wedding. Far from being “just a number” every wedding I’ve shared in has been designed as uniquely personal, about the bride and the groom, never a generic or standard service. Each wedding has been personalized and meaningful --- at least to us! And for us, reaching 400 weddings is a milestone we treasure.
The bride in this milestone was Abigail Stranz, radiant and beautiful on the day of her wedding. (See photo above left.) I had the privilege of preaching the wedding of Abigail’s parents, Barry and Pam, back in 1983. At that time I was not yet ordained and could not yet legally sign a marriage license. But apparently Barry and Pam thought I could preach: they asked me to do so. They sang to each other, someone else signed the license, and I crafted the best sermon I could think of (literally).
This I did again for Wedding Number 400 --- and every wedding I’ve ever done. I’m sure there are busy little wedding chapels in Las Vegas that do 400 weddings on a summer weekend --- but for me, it’s taken a lifetime of learning and sharing, listening and counseling, speaking and teaching. And although I can’t claim to remember every single detail of every wedding experience, I certainly remember the brides and the grooms and the parents and the relatives and many of the friends. People matter.
Since weddings tend to involve people, weddings end up mattering too. I loved doing Wedding # 400 and the next few are already getting scheduled. If I die before Wedding Number 401, no worries. You can make me a little plaque for my gravesite which reads “He performed 400 weddings” and no one will read it or care, but thank you anyway. Or if you prefer, you can put the following on my tombstone, after you cremate my remains. You can just put “He was my friend.” It will be a true statement.
