E pili mau na pomaika'i me 'oe

E pili mau na pomaika'i me 'oe

As the sun slips softly behind the chiseled slopes of Diamond Head, two friends make gentle promises on a Kahala beach.

These two dated in college, yet each eventually married someone else. Nearly five decades later, each having survived the death of their original partner, they hold hands as they quietly form a new union.

A handful of friends stand watch. Former students, current Sunday School class members, a sister. The loving circle offers affirmation and blessings as the early evening sun frolics in frothy waves behind the bridal pair.

E pili mau na pomaika'i me 'oe

Scriptures and praying, pledges and repeating: Troth plighted and pledges made. Is it simply the passing of time that makes these words sweeter, or is it the shared history, all those years ago, when younger hearts could not have foreseen this autumnal blessing?

There are moments when less experienced persons speak these vows, and you find yourself wondering “Do they even understand what they’re promising?” Today, surrounded by the richness of deeply ripened relationships, it is evident that both bride and groom speak words of carefully chosen, deliberately purposed intent.

This is not an accidental union. We are awed by it, a tangible tingling that slips in somehow between the Scriptures and the prayers, the pledging and the plighting.

Perhaps the groom’s former student and the ceremony’s ‘Best Man’ captures it perfectly for all of us as witnesses. “God Hides in Plain Sight,” Dean Nelson suggests. Hand-in-hand on the beach, a small circle of friends is surprised by joy. This evening on the sands of Oahu’s southern shore, the One who loves us is not in hiding. We bow in reverence, welcoming and accepting the Divine embrace.

Holiday Traditions

For the fifth year in a row, Northwestern Bookstores invited us to Minnesota to do some holiday book-signing events for them. This year they hosted us in three different stores over a brisk December weekend in the Twin Cities.

Setting up on a frosty Saturday morning (see photo) we had no idea what to expect. Yet once again, Minnesotans proved among the friendliest and most supportive people on this little blue planet. Once again we were busy at all three stores, meeting new people and connecting with lifelong friends.

So many blessings! Martin dropping by when we were busy in Woodbury, seeing a crowd at our table. His response? He disappeared briefly, then came back with coffee and muffins for us --- just exactly the boost we needed (caffeine is one of our key food groups) on a long afternoon. Where do such friends come from? Thank you, Martin --- We are unworthy.

Andrea the world-traveler. Off to Brazil for the holidays, but she drove from Minneapolis over to the far side of St. Paul, stopping by our book table to catch up. She's finishing up an M.B.A. --- Watch out, world! Her intellect and energy will bless all her future employers.

Alyssa and Andrew, newly engaged. Correction: Newly betrothed. We tried to discern the difference. Andrew's take on it? "If I was engaged, I could still back out of it. When I'm betrothed, that means I have to follow through and get married. I'm already committed." Their radiant smiles brightened our bookmarks and gladdened our hearts!

Molly with daughter Patty. Molly is one of the smartest and best single moms we've met along our journey. She's building a career in law enforcement and currently applying to join the force in a nearby Minnesota community. Note to that community: HIRE HER. Molly is bright, honest, hard-working, and very wise.

Rachel whose marriage is featured in the intro of our book "The Soul-Mate Marriage." Busy raising two great kids, Rachel got up early on a Saturday morning and drove many miles to see us. We've known her since before the marriage, before the kids, before so much of life.

Our good friend Naomi with two adopted sons, launching a career in social work. Naomi, we are so proud of you! Paul and Pauline, married these many years, looking young and energetic as always. Trent and Melissa, Michael and Alice, Curt and Lori --- all these and more. What a blessing to connect with each one of you. Here's a hint: It's not about the books, it's about continuing our lifelong friendship with you and your families.

Rising well before dawn to meet a looming deadline, there are moments when writing can be a lonely profession. Is anybody out there? Will anyone read these words? After a busy weekend meeting readers old and new, we are refreshed, renewed, encouraged. As long as God gives us breath, we'll do our best to help marriages be stronger, families be healthier, parents be less stressed and more successful.

We'll keep writing --- and we'll keep being grateful when people show up to say thanks. Speaking of thanks --- our thanks to the good people of Northwestern Bookstores for creating such a fun holiday tradition. We are grateful!

From the journey ----- 2 writers.

Enchanted Evening

Two musicians meet in a freshened sanctuary. He waits at the top of the aisle; she joins him after a quiet procession with Bride’s Dad along a rose-strewn aisle.

Eighteen of their closest friends fan out across the platform in muted greens and classic black. Groom’s Dad sings a blessing from his perch at the piano. A choir from Azusa Pacific University intones a marvelous Eric Whitacre composition.

Ministers minister, vows exchange, a ring surprises.

Will you? We will. And they mean it.

On to Old Towne, where so many Arts+Crafts homes line quiet streets designed a century ago. Out behind the French Estate, Mishavonna will sing – overflowing with the same talent and poise we witnessed so remarkably on American Idol – sans Simon.

The back-lawn buffet group is all smiles, quiet laughter, meaningful toasts. Sliced beef and sauced chicken, poured wine and decanted cider, a towering cake topped by the kneeling Batman and his chosen Belle.

If life is not entirely a journey through the rose petals, at least it can be launched amid mentors and ministers, sisters and fathers, grandparents and aunts, cousins and roommates. Hard times may come, but on this enchanted evening we ward them away with full glasses and plentiful plates.

Jonathan and Rachyl, we are here for you. Not just tonight, but always.

Jazz as the Son Rises

It's a sultry Sunday evening in downtown Escondido ---84 degrees on the curb; much warmer on stage in front of the footlights. We're at the Metaphor Cafe to catch one of our favorite jazz combos in action. We've been tracking this band for the past several years; they just keep getting better.

We're here in the heat to listen to "A Rae" --- their blend of jazz, fusion, Brazilian samba and Caribbean influences continues to amaze and inspire us. At the band's center is composer and guitarist Sam Hawkins, a gifted arranger who can draw from a classic hymn or a Sara Groves standard and somehow give the song wings.

Speaking of wings, the band is fronted by the voice of angel. Analicia Hawkins, daughter of the group's founder, sings like a blend of Corinne Bailey Rae and a young Norah Jones. Without pride or ostentation, Analicia steps to the microphone and lets the music live/breathe/express itself through her vocal chords.

This is a pure, uplifting, musical experience. Tonight the combo has added a father-and-son team that brings drums and sax to the mix. Woven into Sam Hawkin's tightly scripted arrangements, the sax adds a wonderful counterpoint: keep it coming. Meanwhile the drummer hits the rhythms exactly, carrying the pace with confidence.

Sometimes you're almost afraid to attend a concert, worried that a band you love may let you down, may have an off night, may not be up to the standards you expect. We've been following "A Rae" for several years now --- at coffee houses, jazz venues and even occasionally a church --- and this band simply doesn't disappoint.

For a few hours on a warm Sunday evening, we are carried away. From "Redemption" to "Great is Thy Faithfulness" we are blessed, inspired, encouraged, renewed.

On the Merits of Avoiding Writing...

Yellowed leaves are cliff-diving off the higher branches today. Enormous peer pressure must be in play: They're all doing it.

Meanwhile the squirrels are on meth. Who cooks it up for them? Where do they find the $40 to make the buy? Somehow every squirrel in this area has gone erratic and irrational --- and at very high speed. Thank God they can't drive.

I am on my patio at the moment, avoiding writing. Surrendered to the serene, I let the canopy of the trees and the chatter of the sparrows and the warmth of the sun carry me off to better places.

Out here there are no words, just wonder.

Well perhaps a few words. Dorothy Parker's poem floats up in my lazy memory: "Summer makes me drowsy, Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring."

Exactly. Just now summer is reluctantly passing the baton to autumn. So when the clatter of keypad becomes too much to bear, I flee outdoors to learn from Nature. Nature which, with the exception of today's squirrels, is so enormously patient and forgiving.

Outdoors between musings I'm reading a wonderful new book, God Hides in Plain Sight, written by my friend and college cohort, Dean Nelson. Dean tells everyone that I gave him his first job in journalism; it's at least partly true. I was the editor of our university newspaper and I hired Dean to write occasional columns on topics of his choice. Today he's moved on to The New York Times.

Quoting Walter Wangerin, Frederick Buechner, Anne Lamott and others, Dean explores the Christian sacraments and teaches us how to find the holy amidst the seemingly mundane moments of everyday life. Dean has crafted a brilliant book, the kind where you read a paragraph and stop, thinking for a while, and then eventually you go on. Pick up a copy today; you'll be glad you did.

Are you avoiding writing? Choose a wiser way to do so. Learning from Nature, reading a great new book or a classic older one, these are helpful occupations for anyone who loves words. Over time the quality of our output is greatly affected by the virtues of our input. Until someone develops "CSI: Oxford" there may not be much merit to staring at the tube for hours.

Grab a great book like Dean's new one. Run outside and jog your memory. Bundle up your kids or someone else's and take them out for ice cream. Doing any of these things --- while being observant and fully present --- will help to feed your inner writer.

If you're an advanced lifelong slacker, ignore this lame advice. But if you're driven and tend toward perfectionism, if you're borderline OCD and self-critical by default (i.e., if you're a working writer) perhaps right now is an ideal moment to avoid writing --- if you can find a good way to do so.

Slip away outdoors. Curl up with a great book. Feed your soul. At some random unplanned moment in the future, your soul will nourish you in return.

Isn't that exactly what all of us need?

A Wedding in Wisconsin

The farmhouse perches on a hill; after a steep drop the yard takes a gentle slope to the lake. Gather 200 white chairs, pretty ribbons and bows, a wooden trellis.

Add in aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, Californians and Kansans, then fly in some friends from Scotland. Mix joyously on a Saturday afternoon and voila! you have a wedding in Wisconsin, sparkling under clear blue skies as ducks practice their landings on the choppy waves. Light the barn for dinner and dancing, feed people well, and watch people celebrate and enjoy.

Hunter and Meghan say "I do" and there are a couple of hundred witnesses, more if you count the ducks. Perfect weather, friendly people, fabulous food. Our host transforms his home and acreage into a picturesque wedding venue, scenic and memorable in every detail. By Saturday at dusk there's a newly married couple strolling barefoot along the grassy shore, smiling and greeting their guests.

After 359 of these (plus 16 renewal-of-vows ceremonies) people ask us if it ever becomes routine? Absolutely never. Each sermon is unique, crafted to the character of the bride and the groom. Each service is memorable, some more than others, most of them for the right reasons.

For Hunter and Meghan, no glitches. No one falls or faints. Even the junior couple has star-power, strolling confidently along the petal-strewn path. They almost steal the show! But we are here for the bride and groom, each lit from within by a genuine and lasting joy. Their love is infectious and spreading.

Now the sun has set, the cake's been cut, and the bridal couple is dancing. The DJ spins Tony Bennett, Boys-2-Men, Michael Buble' and more. Grab your partner and hit the floor; this barn is swinging.

Celebrating 60

Some people don't just say "I do."

Some people actually do.

Sixty years ago Mom and Dad pledged their lives to each other.

It's a pledge they've kept.

We're celebrating that this weekend, respecting and affirming the power of promises kept. What a legacy!

The happy young couple in yellow, along the right side of the table?

Those are the "newlyweds" who said "I do" sixty years ago. Don't they look great?

Two of Mom's siblings, two of Dad's siblings, spouses, kids, spouses of kids, kids of kids, grandkids --- Mom & Dad began as great parents but now they're great-grandparents.

Mix in a church service, a country club buffet, lunch for all around Mom's table (she insisted) and a couple of dozen family members --- You have all the ingredients for a happy celebration.

Mom & Dad --- Thank you for keeping your promises!