Light snow dapples our rented RAV4 this morning; God TP'd our Toyota with his own special blend. Don't worry about us: we'll scrape through this somehow...
We're scraping snow off our frosty hood in the Twin Cities this weekend. It's the world premiere of our new book: The Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One. This book has our voice, our life, our soul in it --- this book is what happens when you work with marriages for 25 years, you pay attention, and you stay awake.
We stay awake with Caribou Coffee, our favorite, available here and in Chicago, plus a few of our most frequent airports. We're lifting a few frothy cocoa mugs this weekend to raise our spirits; we love Caribou! Sadly, Caribou have not roamed in the Pacific Southwest for many years; we lament their absence.
Absent from Minneapolis for so long, we are reminded of what we miss about this frozen forest: Caribou, Byerly's, Target, the Vikings, and fond memories of what once was Dayton's. What's not to love?
Speaking of love: it's these people. We've spent this weekend surrounded by close friends, kids of friends, friends of kids, friends of close friends. Friday night was a blur of handshakes and autographs and camel's breath. (Yes, there was a live petting zoo behind us, and a reptile pit nearby.) Saturday was more of the same, but only after sleepy Scandinavians were awake.
Awake this morning before church, we're dazzled by the sight of snow, counting our blessings that this massive metro area contains so many of the people we most value, cherish and treasure. Our hearts are here; where is Tony Bennett when we need him? We left our hearts in....Minneapolis.
Minneapolis is a multicultural igloo, beautiful and varied, a place where the term 'melting pot' would first be preceded by a long discussion: what the heck is 'melting'? Talk freezing up here: then we know what you mean.
Here's what we mean: we miss this place: not the snow, not the traffic, not the road construction which apparently guarantees permanent employment (it never ends). Just the people. Small and large, all shapes and sizes and races and colors and languages. If we made a gallery of our favorite faces we would frame these! Here are the people we love and here is a culture we understand and celebrate.
Celebrating 30 years of an amazing and God-blessed marriage, we know for sure we aren't worthy of these friends and their families. Yet as winter marches in with relentless Norwegian fury, we're slowly rolling out with our hearts freshly warmed for the season ahead.
Ahead of us: many more roadways. If only we could take the grandkids along, just like we took them to Burger King on Friday -- laughing and joking, pretending to be lost in a neighborhood we served for a dozen of the best years of our lives. If today there are fewer lost kids in that neighborhood, then perhaps those 12 years mattered for eternity.
About eternity: we believe there is a plan for our lives, and we believe we are following that plan. We are not perfect, not always right, sometimes mixed up with our culture and customs instead of authentic faith. But we are, on this frosty Minnesota morning, moving consistently in the direction of what we truly believe: that there is a home for us in eternity, around whose hearth we hope to see all of these faces, plus many more.
From the journey....Dave & Lisa
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
My Next President
My next president will be imperfect, like I am. He or she will make mistakes: mistakes of judgment, mistakes of timing, mistakes of direction, and a few random stupid mistakes also. I expect a president to make mistakes: I think it shows character when he or she admits them. All of us make mistakes.
My next president will need my prayers, just like the current one does. Scripture reminds me (and I need the reminder) to pray for those in authority. Our current president, whose term in office began with a terrorist attack on our nation, is closing his term by facing perhaps the greatest global economic challenge of this generation. Prayer helps presidents: prayer helps us all.
My next president will be immediately loved by some people; immediately hated by others. He or she will face an immediate chorus of criticism, sarcasm, political satire, and late-night-talk-show-jokes. If he or she is a person of faith, this criticism will be especially intense and often mean-spirited.
My next president deserves my respect, whether I voted for him or her, or not. The media’s constant criticism of a president has the powerful effect of lowering respect for my leader: I must not only ignore this largely mindless chatter, I must rise above it and realize that anyone who leads a great nation is worthy of my respect, regardless of his or her political views and personal values.
My next president will lead the nation where I was born. He or she will take actions that he or she believes will advance the safety, security, prosperity, and well-being of this nation. Good people can disagree on how best to achieve these goals: my next president will pursue our nation’s advancement.
My next president will have my support. God knows, he or she will need it. Regardless of whether I vote for the person who becomes my next president, when the election is over my president will have my support, my respect, and my prayers. That, as I understand it, is the key to good citizenship.
My next president will need my prayers, just like the current one does. Scripture reminds me (and I need the reminder) to pray for those in authority. Our current president, whose term in office began with a terrorist attack on our nation, is closing his term by facing perhaps the greatest global economic challenge of this generation. Prayer helps presidents: prayer helps us all.
My next president will be immediately loved by some people; immediately hated by others. He or she will face an immediate chorus of criticism, sarcasm, political satire, and late-night-talk-show-jokes. If he or she is a person of faith, this criticism will be especially intense and often mean-spirited.
My next president deserves my respect, whether I voted for him or her, or not. The media’s constant criticism of a president has the powerful effect of lowering respect for my leader: I must not only ignore this largely mindless chatter, I must rise above it and realize that anyone who leads a great nation is worthy of my respect, regardless of his or her political views and personal values.
My next president will lead the nation where I was born. He or she will take actions that he or she believes will advance the safety, security, prosperity, and well-being of this nation. Good people can disagree on how best to achieve these goals: my next president will pursue our nation’s advancement.
My next president will have my support. God knows, he or she will need it. Regardless of whether I vote for the person who becomes my next president, when the election is over my president will have my support, my respect, and my prayers. That, as I understand it, is the key to good citizenship.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Raising Great Kids On Your Own
Are you raising a world champion?Pictured at left is another great kid who was raised by a single parent. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was raised by his mother after his parents divorced. At age 9, unable to pay attention in school, he was diagnosed with symptoms of ADHD.
Let's face it: parenting isn't easy! Especially if you're all alone to raise your children.
Here's the good news: You can raise world-class kids, people who go on to high achievements in sports, medicine, entertainment, government and many other kinds of leadership. We've been learning from successful single parents, literally around the world, about what it takes and how to get there from where you are.
The best of what we've learned from today's successful single parents is right here, in a brand-new book that is just releasing this fall. The title is "Raising Great Kids On Your Own" and it's selling at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Target and in many other stores. You can also purchase it on-line at Amazon through a link along the left side of this blog.
Stressed-out while raising kids on your own?
Worried that your children are disadvantaged?
Your children can go on to achieve greatness, with your help. Just ask Michael Phelp's mom!!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
FIREPROOF Your Marriage: Here's How
This fall our newest book arrives (see cover at left) and we're so blessed to be speaking and teaching in connection with new movie "FireProof."We've seen "FireProof: The Movie" three times, and it just keeps getting better with each viewing. This fall we're out on the circuit speaking, teaching and training married couples --- as we've done since February 1982.
This new book brings the count to ten --- ten published books, not counting the pile of rejection slips, the two novels, and the amazing PK book that no publisher believes "has any market." It takes a lot of rejection and patience to get 10 books in print.
No whining here: our body of work has now grown to 10 published books from four publishers! God is good.
Seven of our ten books are available for purchase right here on this blog, from boxed links to Amazon's always-open superstore. So sorry Amazon doesn't have our new book's cover posted yet. Coming soon; meanwhile click the link and pre-order the book today!
Thanks for stopping by our blog; thanks for reading this post. Now would you please say a prayer for new movie "FireProof" and also say a prayer for our new book "The Soul-Mate Marriage" --- both of these brand-new resources have been designed to rescue marriages and to help couples find lasting, lifelong, committed relationships.
From the journey ---- David & Lisa
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Washing Feet
When I finally finished my homily, the groom grabbed a chair. He brought it under the tent, placed it in front of his bride and offered her a seat. She sat.
He knelt down in front of her, grabbed a basin and a towel, and washed her feet, installing clean white sandals for her (she walked the aisle barefoot as she arrived).
When he was carefully and tenderly done, he took his place on the chair and his bride washed his feet, installing similar clean white sandals for him.
They stood up together, we began the exchange of vows, and the wedding service continued. But from that moment on --- two of us had cleaner feet. And all of us had witnessed a gentle moment in a private relationship between two servant-hearts that were uniting as one.
They leave tomorrow for their honeymoon: they're heading to a third-world country and all of us will be surprised if they don't find ways to serve and minister while there.
Meanwhile, we're just returning from Lanesboro, Minnesota -- Amish Country -- after performing wedding #350 for us. And despite what you might think, after three-hundred-plus weddings, every one of the services has been unique; each homily crafted for each couple, never anything generic.
Even after this many weddings, each one resonates as an individual, identifiable ceremony.
Yes we did a wedding in Switzerland. Stone chapel. No sound system or electricity.
Yes we did a wedding on an island in the Boundary Waters Wilderness Area. No plumbing.
Yes we've done weddings in most of the 50 U.S. states and in many other world areas.
Yes we've done weddings for every sibling within a family circle; but one at a time. :)
Yes we've done a wedding (just one so far!) for someone whose parents we married.
Our wedding march continues. Driving away from the rolling hills of southern Minnesota, we turned off the stereo and just talked. Thirty years together and we still haven't run out of things to talk about, laugh about, and explore for our future.
Heading away from wedding #350 we are moving forward, excited about God's direction for our lives and glad to be following Him, honoring Him, serving Him.
We are definitely imperfect, but we're moving in the right direction....
He knelt down in front of her, grabbed a basin and a towel, and washed her feet, installing clean white sandals for her (she walked the aisle barefoot as she arrived).
When he was carefully and tenderly done, he took his place on the chair and his bride washed his feet, installing similar clean white sandals for him.
They stood up together, we began the exchange of vows, and the wedding service continued. But from that moment on --- two of us had cleaner feet. And all of us had witnessed a gentle moment in a private relationship between two servant-hearts that were uniting as one.
They leave tomorrow for their honeymoon: they're heading to a third-world country and all of us will be surprised if they don't find ways to serve and minister while there.
Meanwhile, we're just returning from Lanesboro, Minnesota -- Amish Country -- after performing wedding #350 for us. And despite what you might think, after three-hundred-plus weddings, every one of the services has been unique; each homily crafted for each couple, never anything generic.
Even after this many weddings, each one resonates as an individual, identifiable ceremony.
Yes we did a wedding in Switzerland. Stone chapel. No sound system or electricity.
Yes we did a wedding on an island in the Boundary Waters Wilderness Area. No plumbing.
Yes we've done weddings in most of the 50 U.S. states and in many other world areas.
Yes we've done weddings for every sibling within a family circle; but one at a time. :)
Yes we've done a wedding (just one so far!) for someone whose parents we married.
Our wedding march continues. Driving away from the rolling hills of southern Minnesota, we turned off the stereo and just talked. Thirty years together and we still haven't run out of things to talk about, laugh about, and explore for our future.
Heading away from wedding #350 we are moving forward, excited about God's direction for our lives and glad to be following Him, honoring Him, serving Him.
We are definitely imperfect, but we're moving in the right direction....
Friday, May 23, 2008
Stepping into Early Church History
Moments before this photo was taken, we stood in silence on the stone floor of an ancient chapel; the very spot where the Council of Sardica took place.
Standing on these same stones, the leaders of the emerging church debated doctrine and established the New Testament Canon. Here they affirmed the Nicene Creed, publishing their council proceedings in both Greek and Latin, the languages of the day.
Our visit was limited to 15 minutes; the original site is now an internal (largely unchanged) portion of a functioning Orthodox church in the capital city of Sophia, Bulgaria. Foreigners may visit briefly.
We were in awe; meanwhile bearded and black-robed Orthodox priests stood very nearby, hovering close so that we did not photograph anything or show disrespect for the site. Disrespect? Our response was the opposite.
Many artifacts from the period encircled us. "The rocks cried out."
Constantine was in this city often. Jerome writes of this very council. All of the early histories record the debates and discussions here. Right here: only a few meters from the place of the fountain, above. It was almost too much to assimilate in a quarter-hour; our hearts and minds overflowed.
In a hushed silence we emerged from the cool darkness of the chapel and stood blinking for a few seconds in the bright Bulgarian sunshine. We then walked the perimeter of the church's exterior, thinking about others who also walked here --- pensively wrestling with how to help us avoid error, how to think about questions of matter and spirit, body and soul, eternity.
As contemporary believers we inherit a well-documented faith; a tradition that has been argued, debated, discussed, clarified and re-thought since the very beginning. Seven Councils -- as the Christian community began to emerge in diverse places and languages -- sought a unified understanding of what core Christian belief and practice looked like, sounded like.
It is not inaccurate to say that Christianity has often been divided and at odds with itself in its two millenia of history. It is also not inaccurate to say that at its core, there is or should be agreement on the essential confession by which we proclaim our faith in the Risen Lord. Here in this place, that seminal affirmation was prayerfully and powerfully refined.
We who travel here rejoice; hoping our journey conforms to His own.
The Council of Sardica, one of seven in which the emerging church defined the New Testament Canon, refuted heresies, and decided church policies, was held in the 340's AD, circa AD 347.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Learning to Grow Up
We tend to view parenting as our chance to mold and shape young lives.
We look at parenting as the task of teaching our children, training them to make wise choices, and helping to form good character within them. There is much truth in this common understanding of our role.
Yet another truth is also at work here. Parenting changes us. Raising a child scratches and dents our theology, scuffs and scrapes our self-image, and drags us out toward the deeper end of the pool, whether we’re ready to go there or not. Parenting helps us grow up.
Lisa and I recently spent three years learning from single parents while researching and writing our new book, Raising Great Kids on Your Own. We sat down with single moms and dads across North America and in many parts of Europe and Asia. We listened to them, learning about their struggles and also their strengths. Across differences of age, race, culture and worldview, we simply asked these parents: “What’s working? Have you found a way to make a difference?”
Our friend Molly didn’t plan to be pregnant at 16. Faced with difficult possibilities, she made a courageous moral decision: she chose to let her baby live. That complex and intentional act led to another tough choice: she decided to keep her child and raise it herself.
Molly was not alone, of course. Molly’s mom was available and willing to help. Molly had brothers nearby who would pitch in as often as possible. She had some friends at church, caring adults in a small community of faith that genuinely wanted to help if they could.
Six years after giving birth, Molly is one of the wisest people we know. She has learned to delay gratification, to make painful and difficult sacrifices, and to look out for someone else’s good, not just for her own. Our world is full of 40- and 50-year-olds who are not as wise as Molly is; they have advanced in age without moving forward toward personal maturity.
Molly grew up by raising her child. Torn between having fun and doing the hard work of parenting, she didn’t always choose the work. Yet as she watched the consequences of her own choices and as the miracle of childhood unfolded literally before her eyes, Molly realized that the meaningful things in life often require sacrifice, self-control, and generosity of spirit.
While her friends were playing, Molly was praying. She asked God for wisdom as she tried to shape and mold the thoughts and actions of her daughter. Meanwhile, as Molly raised a bright and inquisitive little girl, Molly herself moved consistently and powerfully toward maturity.
Parenting grows us up. We can divorce our partners, change jobs, and leave the state. We can walk away from our debts, ignore our commitments and choose to avoid reality, partying until we drop. But if we stick around and do the hard work of parenting, whether we’re single or in a committed relationship, a funny thing starts to happen. While we are raising a child, we ourselves are learning, growing, changing and becoming better adults.
More info here:
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?event=AFF&p=1137294&item_no=919414
We look at parenting as the task of teaching our children, training them to make wise choices, and helping to form good character within them. There is much truth in this common understanding of our role.
Yet another truth is also at work here. Parenting changes us. Raising a child scratches and dents our theology, scuffs and scrapes our self-image, and drags us out toward the deeper end of the pool, whether we’re ready to go there or not. Parenting helps us grow up.
Lisa and I recently spent three years learning from single parents while researching and writing our new book, Raising Great Kids on Your Own. We sat down with single moms and dads across North America and in many parts of Europe and Asia. We listened to them, learning about their struggles and also their strengths. Across differences of age, race, culture and worldview, we simply asked these parents: “What’s working? Have you found a way to make a difference?”
Our friend Molly didn’t plan to be pregnant at 16. Faced with difficult possibilities, she made a courageous moral decision: she chose to let her baby live. That complex and intentional act led to another tough choice: she decided to keep her child and raise it herself.
Molly was not alone, of course. Molly’s mom was available and willing to help. Molly had brothers nearby who would pitch in as often as possible. She had some friends at church, caring adults in a small community of faith that genuinely wanted to help if they could.
Six years after giving birth, Molly is one of the wisest people we know. She has learned to delay gratification, to make painful and difficult sacrifices, and to look out for someone else’s good, not just for her own. Our world is full of 40- and 50-year-olds who are not as wise as Molly is; they have advanced in age without moving forward toward personal maturity.
Molly grew up by raising her child. Torn between having fun and doing the hard work of parenting, she didn’t always choose the work. Yet as she watched the consequences of her own choices and as the miracle of childhood unfolded literally before her eyes, Molly realized that the meaningful things in life often require sacrifice, self-control, and generosity of spirit.
While her friends were playing, Molly was praying. She asked God for wisdom as she tried to shape and mold the thoughts and actions of her daughter. Meanwhile, as Molly raised a bright and inquisitive little girl, Molly herself moved consistently and powerfully toward maturity.
Parenting grows us up. We can divorce our partners, change jobs, and leave the state. We can walk away from our debts, ignore our commitments and choose to avoid reality, partying until we drop. But if we stick around and do the hard work of parenting, whether we’re single or in a committed relationship, a funny thing starts to happen. While we are raising a child, we ourselves are learning, growing, changing and becoming better adults.
More info here:
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?event=AFF&p=1137294&item_no=919414
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